Pride in Marriage

“Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. (See Mosiah 3:11; 3 Ne. 6:18.) In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride—it is always considered a sin. Therefore, no matter how the world uses the term, we must understand how God uses the term so we can understand the language of holy writ and profit thereby. (See 2 Ne. 4:15; Mosiah 1:3–7; Alma 5:61.)”.  This was said during general conference by President Ezra Taft Benson, in 1989.  This was revelation shared by a prophet, and is even more needed counsel today, almost 30 years later.

What is pride?  
Pride is often considered to be self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.  These are true examples of pride but what is often overlooked is competitive in nature, disobedience, contention, defensiveness, enmity toward God, rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, sign seekers, faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.  The list could go on and on.  “Pride affects all of us at various times and in various degrees” (President Era Taft Benson, 1989). 
           
How does pride affect marriages?  
Struggling marriages can all trace a negative impact caused by pride.  John Gottman shares some important tools to help overcome the effects of pride in marriages.
  • ·      Sharing power and decision making with your spouse.
  • ·      Honor and respect your spouse.
  • ·      Accept influence/learn from your spouse.


While Gottman doesn’t put these as examples to beat Pride, these tools will help overcome pride by putting your spouse and your marriage before yourself.

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