The Four Horsemen

 

Before I started my Marriage class this semester, I have never heard of DR John Gottman.  I started reading the first few chapters in his book “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work”.  Like I said I was unaware of Gottman’s work, and I am already finding his study very interesting.  He uses science to predict the outcome of couples marriages.  He has been doing this by creating a weekend apartment for couples, during this time the couples are being monitored by recording heart rate and watching physical and facial responses while interacting with their spouse.  Dr Gottman has used this information he has gathered and can predict whether the relation will be successful or end in divorce with over 90% accuracy rate.  I am amazed by the outcome of his study and the accuracy he has had.  I am looking forward to reading more understand the 7 principles he offers to “Make Marriage Work”.

In the first few chapters he introduced “The Four Horseman of The Apocalypse", the four horsemen are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  Once these four horsemen enter the heart of marriages they begin to ruin it.  All couples face these at some point in their relationship but it is how they respond individually and together that impacts the relationships future.